My Genius Dog Or How To Survive a Lion Charge

Bichon Frise in Wilderness

You ask, ye of little faith, HOW could these two things be related?  They are because they both involve poop, this is a family blog ya know?  Sort of.

First I haven’t been feeling well, haven’t done anything but mess with my blogs for days and not much of that, yesterday afternoon I decided I really possibly was sick with flu or something,  today I’m better so? I dunno.  But because I’ve been sick.  I hate to admit it but my tiny tiny bit of exercise I took with Dispatch the Bichon Frise everyday has fallen by the wayside.   So I didn’t take Dispatch regularly to the open field where he can poop and eat grass and bark @ things freely very often.  When Dis does poop in the yard I throw it over the fence to the woods with large leaves.  You say GROSS?  Gimme a break we aren’t supposed to put TP in our RV holding tank and the other option is picking it up in a wal mart bag or two which is NOT going in my house trash so the leaves it is.  BIG leaves and he is a little tiny dog.  Get the picture.  Well today I’m sort of wanderinbg around outside with Dis in my sick daze (you should have seen me drive to grocery store. I bet THAT was interesting,    Somehow I almost managed to take off my side mirror with the cart but that’s another story)  So I’m outside and Dispatch ducks under the fence in the back of our RV.  It’s barbed wire and there are woods on the other side and then a pasture with lonhorns, I could just see me scaling the barbed wire fence and chasing Mr. Fluffy through South Texas swamps and bayous which are like next door and yes we have a baby alligator close.  BUT does Dispatch run away after he ducks under the fence (remember this is where I throw his poop because it’s woods, don’t get grossed out there are raccoons pooping there so why not my dog? )  NO Dispatch the wonder dog POOPS in the woods.  I kid you not.  Of course there may have been whatever mysterious scent there that tells him hey this is the PLACE you must poop today, none other will do, or he was trying to cover up another animals scent (@ least he wasn’t pooping in another dogs food which he has been known to do.)  BUT to me it looked like he’s saying poor Mama she isn’t herself, I’ll just put the poop where she wants it   Or he was saying lazy broad, I’d better put my scent over here or she will accidentally smear it somewhere as loony as she is acting today.  I’d like to think the former was true but we will never know.

Second poop story:

I like House the medical drama and I like Hugh Laurie. Hugh Laurie was on Jay Leno last night and told a story about how to survive a lion attack which stuck in my head.  My brother and my husband say House is a male chauvinistic butthole only they say something else, I say I’m totally used to how House acts so what does that say about them?  hmmmm?  Anyway Hugh did a film once with a lion, he said the lion trainer gave him one important piece of advice on how to survive a lion charge.  When the lion charges reach behind you and throw poop in his face.  You ask where you get the poop?  The lion trainer said if a lion is charging you there will be poop behind you.  I thought this was pretty sage advice?

Maybe I have a fever so all I could think to write about is poop?

Hugh Laurie With Hair and Smiling?